Thankful One-Liners

By Amsinger - November 21, 2005

I am thankful Fresno State exposed USC's weak secondary. (So will Texas in Pasadena)

The Hawaii men's basketball team is thankful for cramping. (Poor Michigan State)

Georgia Tech is thankful it gave head football coach Chan Gailey a brand new deal.

Gonzaga's Adam Morrison is thankful he let his hair grow, the swaying shag makes him that much more difficult to guard.

I'm thankful football programs with more talent than just about anybody can still stink it up on the field. (example: Oklahoma and Tennessee)

Speaking of Oklahoma, Texas Tech is thankful for home instant replay advantage.

The sport of field hockey is thankful a team OTHER THAN Wake Forest won the national championship.

I'm thankful head basketball coaches provide the real entertainment during the Maui Invitational by wearing ridiculous Hawaiian shirts.

Geno Auriemma is thankful he can lose two star recruits (Oklahoma's Paris twins) and still beat the snot out of the team those recruits chose instead of UConn.

Kansas freshman guard Brandon Rush is thankful he didn’t stay in the NBA Draft, he's not ready for good college opponents let alone NBA.

I'm thankful Brian Jones and Ray Lucas were added to Crystal Ball because along with Brian Curtis, it's been one helluva fun show to host…awww

I'm thankful CBS purchased CSTV because "The Eye" was always focused on the good of college sports.

I'm thankful CSTV doesn't have any college poker tournaments on the network...yet.

College basketball is thankful 7'1 prep star Greg Oden didn't sign with Duke, North Carolina, Arizona or Kansas.

I'm thankful for guys that stand up for premature baldness like Iowa's 6'7 senior forward Greg Brunner.

Joe Paterno is thankful he's one spot away from playing for a national championship without calling a single offensive or defensive play this season.

Women's basketball is NOT thankful for halftime scores like this, Texas - 43, Sam Houston State - 10.

Wofford is thankful for the Toccoa Falls Eagles, FINAL SCORE: Wofford - 81, Toccoa Falls - 15!!!

I'm thankful a coach like George O'Leary was given a second chance.

Pete Carrol is thankful Reggie Bush is a robot.

I am NOT thankful for college sporting events on Thanksgiving...are they worried the athletes may gain too much weight?

Speaking of gaining weight, I'm thankful for television, I'll be able to show the world how much fun I had on Thanksgiving with my excess cheek fat.

Posted by Amsinger at 10:51 PM on November 21, 2005

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